How can I change my heart-reasoning hasn’t worked-I am attracted to a partner type I’ve failed to connect with

20 Responses to How can I change my heart-reasoning hasn’t worked-I am attracted to a partner type I’ve failed to connect with

1. 

   Ahorn November 27, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

   Check other options.

   It does not look like a terrorist attack. It looks rather like one of those school shootings. And school shootings had one thing in common – all school shooters were on psychiatry drugs that drove them mad.

   “Despite the fact that Fort Hood gunman Nidal Malik Hasan was a psychiatrist, the media has failed to even raise the question of whether he was taking psychotropic drugs before he gunned down over a dozen of his colleagues during yesterday’s tragic rampage, a hefty indictment of how the establishment rushes to blame politics, religion, gun rights, or any other factor for mass shootings in order to hide the direct link between such massacres and the use of anti-depressant drugs.
   It has been confirmed that Hasan was an Army psychiatrist at Fort Hood. Psychiatrists have a history of “self-medication” because of the easy access they have to psychotropic drugs.”

   Fox News
   http://www.cchrint.org/videos/videos-we-like/fox_news

   Zoloft story
   http://cbs11tv.com/local/Postpartum.Depression.Legislation.2.675222.html

   http://www.cchr.org/#/videos/prescription-for-violence

   and alternatively

   school
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAeABmVOS0s
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSZ9YTnSkLc

   50 sec public announcement
   http://www.cchr.org/#/videos/office-visit
   http://www.cchr.org/#/videos/prescription

   Watch trailer 1:55 min (the whole DVD free to watch on-line)
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV0J5EsYKuw
   The whole DVD
   http://www.cchr.org/#/videos/making-a-killing-introduction
2. 

   ssg/emt November 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

   If it is proved that Major Hasan acted as a terrorist when he betrayed everything his uniform stands for and attacked fellow Soldiers, they will qualify for the PH.

   If it is proved that he is just a lunatic who snapped they won’t qualify.
3. 

   Dennis F November 27, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

   It will have to be officially declared a Terrorist Act for them to receive Purple Hearts.
   It may happen, might not.
   I served with a guy that received Purple Heart for getting hit with shrapnel when a car bomb exploded in front of HQ building at Rhein-Main in 85. This was clearly a Terrorist Act.
   Just wait for the investigation to unfold. there is much we don’t know about this guy.
4. 

   Brian November 27, 2011 at 1:11 pm #

   It was a terrorist act, a PREMEDITATED Terrorist act, you do not need to belong to a group or organization to be a terrorist (Timothy McVeigh OK City), But the main thing is the designation that it was a terrorist attack is what is holding up the purple hearts.
5. 

   jeeper_peeper321 November 27, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

   Because they have not declared it a terrorist attack.

   What terrorist group did he belong to ?

   There are guidelines as to what constitutes a terrorist attack, so far, they do not have enough evidence to make a determination that this was a terrorist attack.

   Service members are authorized a purple heart if injured during a terrorist attack.

   IE: the service members injured or killed on 9/11, were awarded the purple heart.
6. 

   JD November 27, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

   They should, the scumbag may have been wearing a Us Army uniform but he was still the enemy
7. 

   James November 27, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

   In the war on terror everywhere is a war zone. So I think they should!
8. 

   Nick November 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

   they were not in a designated imminent danger area or a hostile fire area basically not a war zone that means no purple hearts
9. 

   Anonymous November 27, 2011 at 11:43 am #

   Tough question.
   If the pay’s that important to you, you should do something that pays better. Maybe start teaching after a few years or something..
10. 

    educationmajor November 27, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    I think you should follow your heart. If you feel that becoming a teacher is the what you are being called to do, than GO FOR IT!!! I have asked myself the same questions, as I am an ed. major and will be student teaching in the fall. I also worked in education as an aide for five years and IT IS VERY REWARDING, but it can also be very demanding–if you want to be an awesome teacher!!

    The pay is fairly low compared to other jobs, but I look at the fact that most often I will leave work at 3:30 pm, plus I will have every major holiday off, spring, summer & christmas vacations too, and in the past I received over ten sick days per year at the district I worked for. This time off has allowed me to spend more time with my children, which is PRICELESS!!!

    I also weighed the options I had and the money I could make in other jobs, but I finally made my decision by looking at my husband—he makes LOTS of money, but is miserable at his job because it is not what he wants to do with his life. So I can tell you first hand that a job that pays lots of money does not guarantee happiness!!!! Only a JOB YOU LOVE can:-) I wish you the best of luck on your decision because you are the only one who can decide what is best for you!
11. 

    gimj314 November 27, 2011 at 10:42 am #

    Well, you have the most imporant thing that it takes to be a teacher – a love of teaching and wroking with kids. You should look online to find out exactly what teachers make in the area where you want to teach and live. Then, make a budget (considering the fact that at least 20% will be taken out for taxes each month) and see if you can live with it. Teaching is not for extravagent people who can’t live without designer clothes, weekly trips to the mall, and eating out all of the time. But you do have your summers off to earn extra money or vacation, and you have better hours than many people (depending on how much work you take home). Many schools provide their teachers with aides, as I’ve been fortunate to have…this cuts down on a lot of the paperwork…but this is typically only provided for elementary teachers. Parent volunteers often help, too, depending on the district and the group of parents you have in any given year. Do plan on spending a lot of time and money on your classroom in your first year. I spent at least $ 400 on furniture, classroom library books, decorations (posters, pillows, bookshelves, etc), and miscellaneous necessities my school didn’t give me, in my first year teaching. The next few years are better, and you can usually do without some of the things I thought I needed. Start collecting early! As for your own expenses, you will probably have a tight budget, but if you truly love your job it will be worth it. Many people make two or three times a teacher’s salary but quit and begin teaching (or suffer in a hated job) because it wasn’t fulfilling or what they really wanted to do. Healthcare would be a great field as well, but I suggest you volunteer or participate in an internship as you did with teaching, to get a better feel for the job.

    The best salary I’ve heard of for teaching is in the Dallas, TX area. My friend’s starting pay (with a bachelor’s, right out of college…elementary teacher) was $ 42,000 – that was two years ago. California has similar or higher pay, but a much, much higher cost of living…Dallas is a very reasonably priced place to live. Other states often start teachers out at $ 25,000, $ 30,000. Public schools usually have automatic raises (often at least $ 1,000 a year), but private and charter schools vary in annual pay raises (or the lack thereof). Private schools may start their pay at as low as $ 15,000 (possibly lower?), but I am sure many pay much more than that. If you’re concerned about pay and are willing to move, Dallas or any of its suburbs (Allen, Grapevine, Copel, many others) is your best bet.
12. 

    Anne2 November 27, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    .First of all, let me say that health care is a good field too. But have you thought about, those three months in the summer, that you will have off, if you become a teacher. Laying in a hammock, under a shade tree, sipping lemonade.. Writing the first draft, of the next best seller. Money is important, but time is important too.
13. 

    Jennifer S November 27, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    Teaching is a wonderful profession. Depending on where you live, the pay is different. And paperwork, involving lesson plans and grading papers- I don’t think it is as bad as it has been portrayed. I am NOT a teacher, but both of my parents and my aunt and uncle are- i have grown up in the environment my whole life. I admire my family for teaching and think the world of my parents- both principals now (they make a little better $ $ $ now). I AM a nursing student, and in regards to paperwork- it is neverending. We spend as much time filling out paperwork as we do taking care of the actual patient. Don’t let the $ $ or fear of paperwork deter you from what you actually want to do. Healthcare is a great field, as is teaching- both of which are underpaid, underappreciated and in need of caring individuals. Either field would be proud to have you. Choose the one you will be passionate about. Teaching is my first choice- I was actually an education major years ago- but now that I am older, single mom I chose nursing because the program is shorter, with less schooling, and I can get my certification quicker and begin my career!!! I often sub as a classroom aide at my mom’s school and love it- she worries that I will quit my nursing program to switch programs and prolong my education even further. I would love to teach, but can’t afford to go to school for that long right now. Good luck to you.
14. 

    wendy b November 27, 2011 at 8:46 am #

    I am a 56 year old recently retired elem teacher. I’m not sure what to tell you, but I did start whispering in my own 2 chidrens’ ears, you won’t be a teacher, you won’t be a teacher. Only because it is an impossible job, at least in elem I know. I think there are actually many professions where you have to choose, like I would never marry a dr because of their hours and on call because family is so important to me. If you love to work with children and you want to “live the good life” I don’t think you’ll find a job like that. It seems every job where it is satisfying like teaching, it is also not high pay. Lack of discipline in homes is the major drawback, because most of the time you are just the policeman and don’t get to teach, which is NOT fun. Did you know teachers can’t even use red pens any more because it hurts the childrens’ feelings ? I think things have become quite twisted. Seek out all you can, but I believe nursing is another caring profession which is just as hard if not harder than teaching because of odd shifts, changing shifts, no summers off or long vacations to recuperate. Any truly caring profession is extremely stressful. Did you know nationally teaching is only 2nd to air traffic controllers in stress levels. Very high stress and sacrifices … I lost my health,almost completely. I was a single parent too.
15. 

    Angel November 27, 2011 at 8:17 am #

    You can’t change that, and it isn’t anything worth worrying about. It’s not sick to like large, curvy women. If you have any desire to try to change this “fetish” then you need to seek therapy.
16. 

    dad0three November 27, 2011 at 7:35 am #

    This doesn’t quite add up, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for now and assume that you are serious.

    There is nothing flawed about having a certain preference, but that doesn’t mean that the perfect person for you emotionally will match your preference, either.

    Since I cannot imagine where you are that you simply cannot meet women of the body type you prefer (around here, we literally see them all), I have to assume that they are out there, and either you need to go different places, or you’re projecting body type as the problem when in reality there is something else preventing you from meeting someone to whom you’re attracted. A little more critical self-examination might be a good place to start; and I don’t mean in terms of your body type preferences.

    Physical traits have a strong influence over initial attraction (especially in males), but any kind of healthy, long-term relationship has to be grounded more in the emotional connection, anyway. So, if you absolutely cannot find a woman of your ideal body type (most men probably never find their _perfect_ ideal), maybe you just need to be a bit more open-minded going in. It sounds like you’ve tried that some, but just because the first (or second or whatever) woman didn’t make a strong connection with you doesn’t mean the very next one won’t.

    Feel free to continue to seek the body type you prefer; but remember: Any healthy long-term relationship will be not be based on just physical attraction, anyway.
17. 

    Fortunato November 27, 2011 at 6:53 am #

    Hey, I know there are many “large and curvy” women out there who would appreciate a guy like you. (You should have them lined up by the droves outside your door, considering you might be a rare breed nowadays.)

    No, you’re not crazy. You are attracted to whom you are attracted. Would you be crazy if you just weren’t jazzed up by redheads or brunettes? No. Some physical characteristics just won’t float your boat.

    If a skinny woman happens to be frustrated with you because you enjoy her personality but just don’t “gel” with her in that respect, well, that’s just life. She can’t change this part of you.

    I think you do need to decide what you are willing to live with. Can you love a skinny or average woman, or will being in a relationship with one always leave you pining away for someone else, to the point where you cannot make an enduring relationship with her?

    If it’s the latter, you should be looking for large women and not setting the skinny woman and yourself up for heartbreak.

    It really depends on what you expect in your relationship and what you prioritize.

    Caveats:

    * I know that, over time, when you get close to someone, the affections can shift from the physical to the person themselves — you love them and want them because you have already been devoted to them for so long. So maybe over time you could be attached to a woman whom you don’t necessarily find “physically beautiful.”

    * If you’re in a marriage, that commitment takes precedence. You need to find a way to connect with your spouse.
18. 

    ready_to_roll_jjjj November 27, 2011 at 5:57 am #

    Well, in this day and age, thats probobly a good thing… Society is getting “bigger” everyday.. Except in Hollywood where they have forgotten how to eat… No, you don’t have a character flaw… You just have a preference.. Personally I want a dark haired, dark eyed, hot sexy guy… Thats been my “preference” and it is how I judge who I would like to get involved with.. but recently have been hanging out with a really sweet and funny blonde haired guy… I think that our minds can be changed, esspecially if there is a click in our hearts towards a person we didn’t expect to have one with…
19. 

    Beauty_&_Brains November 27, 2011 at 5:18 am #

    The heart knows what the heart wants so just find the one that makes YOU happy and stop trying to change if your heart doesn’t want to change.
20. 

    NinjaRacer November 27, 2011 at 4:34 am #

    chubby chaser, relax and find someone you want to be with, dont stress

Leave a Reply Click here to cancel reply.

You must be logged in to post a comment.